It's raining but....

Though it's raining it's been a good day so far. I feel better and so do Alex and Linda. We took the two older kids to school (first time since Monday) and then went to the veg store, the book store and then to the grocery. Dear hubby's Father's Day gift came in (it's Sunday) and I got a phone call that my new mobile phone should be in on Tuesday!! So, even though the rain sucks, it's working out to be a good day. Now of course I shouldn't say that as it's only 10 AM and who knows what could happen!

Tonight I'm supposed to be teaching Cadets, right now I'm swaying whether or not I should go. Though I DO feel better, I'm worried that I may pass this on. This virus is nasty! Poor Linda yesterday wanted to do nothing but lay down on the couch. Trust me, that is nothing like her! Alex and Linda though feeling better are still having after effects of the virus, mainly cough and running nose. Hopefully no one else will get this, though hubby was saying this morning that he was starting to fell yucky!

Forgot to mention this, happened the other night. We had a lunar eclipse (well, everyone did), anyway, because I was sick, I went to bed around 8, but the husband stayed up to watch it. Well, he went outside and of course it's pitch black out there (that's on a normal night, just not eclipse nights) and ended up tripping over the kids picnic table. His entire left side is scrapped up and yesterday morning he was hurting!! What got me thinking though, had he really hurt himself, as in like hitting his head (the picnic table is on the concrete patio), probably no one would have found him till the next morning!! So, luckily it's just scrapes and bruises!

Anyway, kiddies are on the couch (I kept Linda home again, just to be on the safe side) watching a video. I bought my magazines while out, so may go join them and read. House is in decent order and I even got caught up with the laundry!

Ta for now

Hectic

It has been a hectic few days. On Friday, the oldest came down sick with a sore throat and fever - was feeling a bit better by Saturday night. On Sunday night, well really Monday morning, at 4am, Alex decided to wake us up and he was HOT. So from 4AM till 8AM dad and I are trying to get his temp down. The husband took the 3 older to school, and around 8:15, Alex who still hadn't cooled down much (even with doses of medicine and cooling rags), decided to scare me to death. Alex at about 8:15 went into what is called a febrile seizure. Now, this can be quite normal for kids who experience a high temp, I know this, I'm in the medical field. But it's STILL scary. His eyes rolled back into his head and he started seizing. Luckily it only lasted a few seconds and though groggy, he came back pretty quickly. I immediately called the husband though, said, get home, we need to get him to the hospital. At the hospital he was still pretty groggy, eyes red and of course still a high temp. They gave him some more medicine, did some tests and yes, it's a virus! So, back home, lots of fluids, rest and paracetamol. Alex basically stayed on the couch all day Monday (with me right next to him) and didn't move around a lot. I knew how sick he was just because of this, Alex normally as stated before, is a bundle of energy. Well, by Tuesday, the fever was going down quite nicely, he had a small cough and runny nose, but you could tell he was on the road to recovery. By Tuesday night, he was starting to get back a lot of energy though still tired. Well, Tuesday morning the 4yo decides to get this same bug! So, now I'm dealing with her, high temp, cough, the whole nine yards and then, guess who comes down with it? You guessed, me! So, the three of us yesterday basically stayed on the couch, watched tv and didn't move a lot. When dad and the two older got home, they did the dinner thing (Alex, Linda and I had no appetite though), and so dad entertained those 2 while the 3 of us just stayed on the couch and relaxed!

As can be expected, I missed my therapy appointment. But my therapist was of course understanding.

I did get to the doctor today. She's upped my antidepressant which is good. Hopefully that will help some. Also, she has diagnosed me with rheumatoid arthritis. Now, I've been having problems with my joints for AGES! I went to another doctor like over a year ago, he did a blood test, but because it came back negative, he didn't go any further and basically I've just been living with the pain. Well, today I mentioned it to the doctor and she took one look at my hands and said "you have rheumatoid arthitis." When I explained to her that I had the blood test and it came back negative she told me that not ALL sufferers come back with a positive test. But after examining me, she knows that is what it is. Since I've been on the anti-inflammatory with no success, she's started me on something else. Now, I'm supposed to take this new drug for a few months and she's also going to get me an appointment with a specilist. I really like this doctor. Been seeing her since January and she is just great!

Linda also had her pediatric specialist appointment today (was right after my doctors appointment). Basically it was a "OK, we are on the right track, we just have to continue getting more information." On the 3rd, Linda and I are headed to see an ENT specilist about her ears. Hopefully if we can clear up some of her hearing problems, it may cause her behavioral problems to be lessened. Anyway, a full day!

Off to get some lunch now. Alex and Linda are both laying down and not much to do till I pick up Marie from school.

Ta for now

Oh boy....

Today is going to be interesting. Our oldest is going to be home sick, she has a sore throat and is running a slight temp, so I'm going to keep her home from school. Problem is that I still need to get the 5yo to school, the 4yo to speech therapy and I'm supposed to go by the St. John's station so they can copy my license and my pager number! Plus of course I have to pick up the 4yo from speech therapy and pick up the 5yo from school! Now, seriously speaking I probably could leave the 11yo home and she would be fine, but it is illegal and just my luck someone would come by and turn me in!!! Oh well, I'll just pop her in the car and let her sit there with a blanket on or something!

Last night was good. Went to Cadets and taught again. There was one young lady in my group that I was ready to tape her mouth shut! OMG she would just babble about nothing! I'm trying to teach and she's constantly raising her hand to tell me either about a movie (where she saw the first aid being done), or repeating something already said!! LOL it became funny (funnier even now the next day), but I was trying to get through a lot of information (which I didn't finish btw) and she was seriously slowing me down!! Argh, 11 year olds!!

Went to bed early last night, around 9. Woke up at 2, couldn't fall back to sleep right away though. Ended up going back to bed around 2:30 and then basically tossed and turned a lot till 5:30 when I finally said the heck with it, I'm going to get up. I probably am going to end up being pretty tired by the end of the day!! What a day!

Anyway, time to get Marie off to school...

Ta for now

Why?

Yesterday was really tough. The day started out well, but then of course Tuesday's is therapy day. I was so out of it I couldn't do much - when the husband came home he offered to do dinner and I just relaxed the rest of the night.

Therapy was super tough. It started out well, but then the therapist and I started talking about the children's home I was in for about 9 months. It's funny, I DO have a lot of memories of the home and what happened after I left it. A little background first.

When I was about 10 years old, one night my father began to beat up on Jane. Now, I really don't remember much of this, a lot of it was told to me when I was older. Anyway, depending on who you want to believe there are two versions. In the first version, my father was beating up on Jane (that's agreed upon) and when he started to strike her I grabbed his arm and my father accidentally knocked me back, this is my father's version. According to Jane, my father purposely knocked me back. Whatever happened, accident or on purpose, my head ended up striking a small table. Now, I had epilepsy and suffered from some pretty severe seizures. Striking the table put me in a series of seizures and I ended up having to be hospitalized.

Now, after this, and I don't remember this at ALL - my father was given a choice. Either find me another place that would be safer (from what I understand the police and courts believed Jane) or the Courts would take me and I would be placed in a foster home and he would never see me again. So, dad decided to place me in a Children's Home run by Catholic nuns. Though my mom begged and pleaded with him to send me to her. After placing me in the home, my mom fought like crazy to get me out and placed with her. After about 9 months she finally won and I began to live with her. My memories DURING and AFTER the stay in the home are pretty clear. The memories of the home aren't super clear, but I do have quite a few. As you can imagine, the last place I wanted to be was there and I hated the place. I wanted to be with mom. Now, during the 9 months I was there, mom visited every weekend, BUT dad visited only twice.

Now, up until yesterday, I had NO memories of getting to the home, the night I was taken there, the hospital stay prior, or even the fight the precipitated my going into the home. So, yesterday the therapist and I were talking about the home and how it affected me. During our conversation I remembered the night I was taken there.

I remember quite clearly how I was sitting on a bench outside the office of the home. I was clutching something, but I don't remember what, a doll or stuffed animal or something like that. I also remember the glass that separated the hallway from the office and my dad standing in there talking to someone. I remember dad walking out of the office, NOT saying a word to me and started to walk out the doors. I remember screaming at this point and begging daddy not to go, that I would be a good girl and I wanted to go home. I remember a nun holding me back and though I know she probably was saying something, I don't remember what. I just remember screaming and crying for daddy to come back. My father never turned around. He never said goodbye. He never hugged me. He just kept walking out the door. Why daddy?

The 3 youngest and the husband is outside right now so I thought I would take a few minutes to write. Hubby is working on the garden and the kids are playing, hopefully not in the rain puddles! Yes, it's still raining, though yesterday it was 1/2 way decent out! But, it's not raining now (though it looks like it's going to pour any minute), so kids wanted to go outside.

It's Saturday and for the most part the house is clean. Only thing left to do is the kitchen and bath floors! The kids were amazing in the last week and kept their rooms pretty tidy. I ended up taking a nap with the little one's today. Was nice and refreshing!

Last night hubby and I watched the movie Pursuit of Happyiness. It was quite good. I think what made it even better was the fact it was a true story. That guy could have so easily given up and didn't. If you haven't seen the movie, I would recommend it.

Linda was a bit better with the tantrums this week. Not that she didn't have them, but they didn't last that long, which is good!

My birthday is coming up soon and I already asked for a new mobile phone. The one I want has EVERYTHING on it. What's super nice is that it's going down in price, plus I have a $80 coupon off on it! It's supposed to go down on the 1st of September and the hubby has said that he'll go ahead and buy it for me then. I'm going to give my old phone to the 11yo. She has a phone but it doesn't work at all well (she can't make calls on it, only texts, which is a pain!) It's quite a new phone as I just got it a few months ago. My old old phone I accidentally ended up washing (btw, mobile phones don't go through washers well), and I had bought the one I have now as a "stop-gap" till I found one I really wanted. The new phone has video calling (though I have no clue who I would call as none of my friends have this type of phone), camera, organizer and all the bells and whistles. And I'll be able to get The Apprentice game back on the new one!

Anyway, need to check the chicken we are having for dinner.

Ta for now

A good day

I have no clue what to title this, as there really isn't a "theme" to it...I'm bad at thinking of titles anyway, so I'm going to write first and hopefully think of something.

Yesterday was a good day. I didn't sleep well as I was on duty and so wouldn't take the sleeping pill. Ended up getting a call out at 4:30 am, nothing serious, but of course by the time I got back it was 5:30 and just decided to stay up.

The kids woke up on schedule around 6:30 and it was nice to sit at the computer and just browse and have coffee for a good hour before the house stirred. All day yesterday the kids were in great moods and so was I. Even my darling husband commented that I looked like I was having a great day. Nothing major happened (well, the sun was shining does that count?).

Alex helped me fold and put away the laundry. It was so cute. He would pick up the pile of laundry and say this is " " and head to their room with it. We then picked up the house of toys (4 kids, three of which are 5 and under, I think I own a toy store at times). He was a great little helper.

My husband picked up the two older children from school and everyone was still in a great mood! Last night was Cadets for the oldest and I'm teaching first aid, so I went with her. That was a lot of fun.

Afterwards, when Cadets was over at 6:30, as you can imagine I was exhausted. I hadn't much sleep the night before and of course waking at 4:30 for the call out made it even less. So, by 6:30 I was dragging. Husband (bless him) had already started baths when we came in, so I helped get the little one's ready for bed (the three youngest go to bed at 7pm) and then watched Shortland Street with the oldest. Well, I'm sitting on the couch, my eyes barely open and trying to follow the show, when the oldest daughter looks at me and says "Mom, you need to go to bed, don't argue with me, just go! I'll start the laundry (I always do a wash at night, makes it easier for me the next day)". After I stopped laughing (wow she sounded just like me!) - I agreed and headed to bed right after Shortie. I read for a few minutes (not long and I think I may have to reread whatever I read last night, as I don't remember it!), then I was out. I ended sleeping till about 5:30 am. Husband says I had a nightmare at 4:30, the screaming type. I don't even remember it, waking up or even him cuddling with me to calm me down! I must have been tired!

Unluckily the 5yo woke up sounding like a frog and running a slight temp. I told her I was keeping her home from school and she threw a fit!! OMG she WANTED to go to school and not stay home!! LOL, I calmed her down finally and told her we would go out and get her movies to watch while she laid on the couch. Had to take the 4yo to her speech therapy and so while she was there Alex, Marie and I went to the video store and picked up some movies.

It's raining now and very cold. Have the fire lit and the kids are enjoying the videos. Husband is going to be VERY late tonight due to a meeting after work. Going to be fixing lunch soon and then the kids will go down for naps. Alex was up at 6, though played quietly in his room, so I know he'll be tired. Linda woke up at 5:30 and asked to use the toilet and though she went back to bed, not sure if she fell asleep.

Anyway, going to go join the kids and watch a video...all have a great day...

Ta for now

A depressing day

Last night was tough, it seemed every little thing was getting to me and I was pretty emotional. My darling husband is so understanding and trying so very very hard to be there for me. But because his family was your typical loving family it can be very hard for him to understand what I'm going through. Last night though was typical for him with how he tries to make things easier for me. We had parent/teacher interviews scheduled for early evening (6pm) and he knew I was pretty down, so he offered to go instead. My husband is a great father and fantastic husband, I'm really lucky to have him.

Today has been really hard. I got all my shopping done, Alex is being a little doll (he's eating lunch right now), even the sun is shining, but I'm just so down. I feel as if I don't have any energy and I just want to curl up somewhere, go to sleep and pretend the world doesn't exist. I know I have so much to be thankful for, a wonderful husband, 4 great kids, a house that we own (OK, the bank does, but still), and the ability to be able to stay home instead of working. It's just that this storm cloud is over my head and I just can't seem to get rid of it. I keep looking for the rainbows, but all I'm seeing right now is the thunder and lightening.

My therapist is sending me back to the doctor. She is concerned because of the sleep disruptions and also because, though I'm not having "flashbacks", I'm "seeing" (this is really hard to explain), like dis-fragmented images. Sometimes it's just a face, or a place, no memory to go with this picture in my head, just the picture. Anyway, the therapist wants my doctor to up my antidepressant and also put me on a bit stronger sleeping pill. My appointment isn't till 28 August and the therapist wasn't happy about that, she wants me to try to get in sooner. I'll try, but I'm not counting on it. I can tell she's worried - even offered to see me sooner than next week if I needed it.

Anyway, Alex is finished with lunch and I need to put him down for his nap. I may go just try to read until Linda is home. The two older girls are getting out early today, so that's why I'm putting Alex down a bit sooner than normal.

Ta for now.