A depressing day

Last night was tough, it seemed every little thing was getting to me and I was pretty emotional. My darling husband is so understanding and trying so very very hard to be there for me. But because his family was your typical loving family it can be very hard for him to understand what I'm going through. Last night though was typical for him with how he tries to make things easier for me. We had parent/teacher interviews scheduled for early evening (6pm) and he knew I was pretty down, so he offered to go instead. My husband is a great father and fantastic husband, I'm really lucky to have him.

Today has been really hard. I got all my shopping done, Alex is being a little doll (he's eating lunch right now), even the sun is shining, but I'm just so down. I feel as if I don't have any energy and I just want to curl up somewhere, go to sleep and pretend the world doesn't exist. I know I have so much to be thankful for, a wonderful husband, 4 great kids, a house that we own (OK, the bank does, but still), and the ability to be able to stay home instead of working. It's just that this storm cloud is over my head and I just can't seem to get rid of it. I keep looking for the rainbows, but all I'm seeing right now is the thunder and lightening.

My therapist is sending me back to the doctor. She is concerned because of the sleep disruptions and also because, though I'm not having "flashbacks", I'm "seeing" (this is really hard to explain), like dis-fragmented images. Sometimes it's just a face, or a place, no memory to go with this picture in my head, just the picture. Anyway, the therapist wants my doctor to up my antidepressant and also put me on a bit stronger sleeping pill. My appointment isn't till 28 August and the therapist wasn't happy about that, she wants me to try to get in sooner. I'll try, but I'm not counting on it. I can tell she's worried - even offered to see me sooner than next week if I needed it.

Anyway, Alex is finished with lunch and I need to put him down for his nap. I may go just try to read until Linda is home. The two older girls are getting out early today, so that's why I'm putting Alex down a bit sooner than normal.

Ta for now.